Not too long after the puppies came to stay with us and the garden was planted, I read an article titled, "You can't have it all". In it they claimed that American woman were led to believe in a huge myth...that as long as you want something badly enough, and you work hard, that you can have it all. The article was specifically talking about a happy home life and a big wig type of career. It highlighted how the woman who had made it to the top and stayed there were the exception, not something that many woman would be able to achieve. Not for lack of trying but mostly because while men can have high profile careers and family, a woman in that same position is expected to do more at home than a man would be. A woman would be more concerned with how her child feels when home sick from school where as a man can put those thoughts out of their mind. There were several examples like that. I didn't agree with everything they had to say but the ultimate point they were trying to make was that it is extremely difficult for woman to be the superhuman they feel they need to be in today's world and unless the circumstances were just right, they could just be beating their heads against a wall, trying to understand how they could be doing more when they they are already doing so much.
When I read this article, I was completely overwhelmed. It helped to hear that it wasn't something I was doing wrong...just that there is only so much a person can do.
We have a clock in our living room that has to be wound up every 2 days or it runs out of juice and dies. We got it from Barry and Lanette and from the day Adam hung it to the day Hansel and Gretel arrived (almost a year), I had only forgotten to wind it once. The day after they arrived was the day the clock stopped. It was one of those little things that wouldn't take much time but felt so overwhelming on top of all the other tasks that I had to deal with to keep all of us alive and the house and garden in any semblance of order.
At one point, Adam decided it was time to try the clock again...the day before he went on a business trip. I told him that I wasn't ready to tackle such a monumental task. It ran out of juice before he got back and stayed that way.
Thankfully, we are adaptable. We learn to stretch and grow and deal with things that once seemed impossible. Time has marched on. The puppies have been here 6 months now. It has been rocky and difficult but we have survived and thrived, I think. Things aren't perfect. I feel inadequate for all the tasks given to me...and all the tasks I wish to take on on top of those. But time has marched on, like I said, and I am proud to say that my clock has been showing that passing of time for a month now. I am getting the hang of caring for 6 dogs, a home, a garden, full time work, biking, and even finishing some projects along the way. I am no super woman. I will never have it all, just like the article was talking about. It's hard sometimes for me to admit that...but I am learning to accept it and trying my best with my human limitations. My life isn't perfect...and I would change some details of it if I had the opportunity but I really can't complain. I have a good life. I love and am loved. I am blessed beyond what I deserve. I am constantly shown tender mercies of the Lord. I don't have it all...but I have enough.
During Times of Rejection
6 days ago